I’m proud to be participating in RA Blog week for the 4th year! It’s always an honor to be included.
Today’s blog prompt is: Tips – How do you stay fit, cope with stress, relax, or capitalize on a great day. Tell us your secrets for the best life possible……But I’m opting out and doing a Wild card instead. Why? Because I feel like I am failing at dealing with anything positive today and don’t want to be a fraud. I wrote a blog similar to this a few years ago and I’m doing this again just BECAUSE…..
Morning: It took me almost an hour to get out of bed this morning BECAUSE I was so stiff. I threw my hair up in a ponytail BECAUSE trying to do it would have been too painful on my wrists, elbows, and shoulders. My clothes were laid out, but as usual, I struggled to get the bra hooked with my sore hands. I wanted to stay home and sleep, but I dragged myself out the door and went to work BECAUSE I am stubborn.
Day: I had a busy work day. I love my job and enjoy my students and coworkers immensely. It helps me survive the day BECAUSE each step I take down the long hallways is excruciating. I feel like people judge me BECAUSE I limp even though I look like there is nothing wrong with me. By lunch, I was struggling to focus on the work and not on the pain. I make it through the day BECAUSE I am more stubborn than the pain…but only slightly.
Evening/Night: After work, I needed to coach my cheer squad BECAUSE we had a football game AND I love being with the squad. I demonstrated 3 cheers and felt like crying BECAUSE the pain was so intense. I drove home 20 miles trying desperately to focus on the road and not the pain. I took the dog for a very short walk BECAUSE my whole body hurt and the fatigue was overwhelming. I feel guilty BECAUSE the dog deserves better. I feel sad, BECAUSE, I do, too. I have to crawl up the stairs to use the bathroom BECAUSE walking upright is just too hard. I ordered out for food BECAUSE I the thought of standing at the stove was too overwhelming. I’m now lying on the couch watching TV, and praying the dog won’t have to go out until I’m ready to go to bed BECAUSE the thought of getting up one more time to take her out is too much for me.
Tomorrow: I’ll get up and do it all over again BECAUSE this is my life with autoimmune arthritis. Why keep fighting? BECAUSE I have no choice…this is my life…