A blue Christmas…

Today I have been feeling a bit blue. The combination of the holidays, my finances, my health, and Georgia’s health has me feeling really down. Losing a loved one earlier this year has also torn at my heart for months. Things just keep piling up. Lately, it seems like no matter what I do, I can’t keep up with Georgia’s needs financially. Especially now that she has maxed out on her insurance coverage. I’m working 5 jobs and I am simply exhausted. Not sure if it is my nerves, my thyroid, or menopause, but my hair has gone from thick and wavy to broken, straight, and thin. My weight has ballooned from steroids and depression eating, and I just hate who I am looking at in the mirror lately. I’m being vain, but it sucks. Today it all seemed to crash down on me. My heart just feels heavy.

To get myself out of my funk, I’ve been watching favorite Christmas movies like Elf and Christmas Vacation, binging on Netflix, and snuggling with my babies instead of focusing on the bad stuff. I know it is just a bad funk. I know things will work out eventually. It always does. It just hurts along the way.

I always find that when my spirits get low, I get a little sign comes and boosts me up. I started writing this blog to connect with people living with chronic illness. I don’t think I am much of a writer, and honestly, I’m still shocked that anyone besides my mother reads this (although, I don’t think she has read it in years). It’s silly, but I got an email letting me know that “As My Joints Turn: my autoimmune soap opera” made a top 40 list in arthritis blogs to follow in 2019. I actually came in at 21. It’s silly, but I really needed an ego boost today. Thanks to my guardian angel who brought it to me. And thanks to Feedspot for including me on the list. Check out the list to follow other great blogs out there: https://blog.feedspot.com/arthritis_blogs/

I’m going to rest this weekend, and even treat myself to a holiday manicure. It’s a frivolous spend but it cheers me up.

Until next time. Be well…


11 thoughts on “A blue Christmas…

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  1. Sorry to read this 😔 can certainly sympathise with getting into a bit of a low mood rut and not liking what you see in the mirror. I always go a bit mad in between flares and am heavily into my sport so one of the things I really struggle with when I get ill is how quickly my body changes physically. I’m early on in my blogging journey so not as brave as you to talk about my struggles yet, I hope you find it helpful as I hope it will be for me. Keep smiling and fighting.x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your honesty and stories leaves us know we are not alone. My RA has gotten so bad I am now forced to retire. How will I make it? Will I survive? Somehow God will show me the way. Your stories give me the strength to say enough is enough, it’s time for me to find peace. Thank you kelly for your continued strength and support for all you have touched. God Bless You!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kelly, Congratulations. It is a well deserved honor. I read most every arthritis blog and frankly while I do not read a few of these, I can honestly say I think it should have been higher.


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