Hindsight is 20/20….

I’m in pain.

Pain so severe, I am too nauseous to eat.

Pain so severe I can barely walk up stairs in my home.

I’m experiencing fatigue so severe that every thing I do causes me to have to lie in bed and rest.

Run errands, rest.

Walk the dog, rest.

Why is this happening? It’s quite simple. I made a big mistake.

A big one.

I work in a school, so my days off are limited. Unlike most teachers who can bank their days for retirement, I use mine because I can’t put shoes on my swollen feet or I can get my hands to work the clasps on my bra.

At the start of this past school year, I documented how I was out of work for three weeks with pneumonia. Then an additional 10 days due to COVID and rebound COVID. I cruised through my sick days before Thanksgiving and my personal days were primarily used for my mom’s doctor’s appointments. The 3 sick days I had left, I broke into half days so I could get my infusion.

Fast forward to June and I’m nearing the end of the school year. My biologic infusion was due during my last week of school. It’s always hectic, so I opted to put off my infusion until next week, when I didn’t have to work.

Worst decision ever.

On the plus side, I know that Remicade is working because when it wears off, I am a hot mess.

Have I learned my lesson to not delay my infusion in the future? I hope so. Unfortunately, knowing me, I will continue to put work and the needs of others before mine.

Balance has never come easy to me. Awareness tends to be clear and hindsight is always 20/20.

When I am feeling better, I plan to celebrate ending year 31 in education. and Finni’s 3rd year in daycare. Even in pain,I pretend everything is fine.