My enemy is my friend…

Living with autoimmune diseases is a never ending journey.  I’ve had people tell me that “But you don’t look sick”, and “Do you know that you are limping?”…hmmmm….you really think I didn’t know that I was limping?

Each day is a journey because I never really know how I will be feeling.  It’s the same with my dog, Georgia.  Yesterday was an amazing day for her.  Very few bouts of head rubbing or scratching.  She slept but was almost playful at times.  I didn’t know how much I missed that.  Today is a different story.  She is tired and grumpy and is running around the house whacking her head on table legs and and the steps.  It’s so disheartening to see her in pain.  I constantly think back and remember that there was a time when I wouldn’t tell people that I felt good.  I always thought that I was letting them down when I suddenly wouldn’t feel good.  I’m feeling the same way about Georgia.  Setting limits on my hopes for her good health.  Then no one will be disappointed if it doesn’t work out well.  I do think Georgia and I were meant to be together.  I understand her pain and she gives me comfort just by being near me.

I’m so used to living with pain that I sort of feel lost when I am pain free.  Not that I miss the pain, it’s just that I feel so different without it.  It’s almost like my enemy is my friend…even when I don’t want it to be.