Today is…

Every morning I wake up and think, today is going to be the day I feel better.
Today will be the day I can function like a normal human being.
Today is the day I will feel great.

Then I get out of bed and realize the pain, fatigue, and general malaise are still there.

It’s hard not to feel discouraged by the constant ick of it all.

I’ve made a huge change in my life to try to recover from complications related to my autoimmune arthritis. I’m working hard to balance medical treatments and holistic approaches in hopes of regaining the ability to work again. For most of my life, I’ve been able to push through pain and fatigue. But now my body is calling the shots, and it refuses to listen to my brain.

Right now, working simply isn’t something I’m capable of doing — and emotionally, that’s incredibly difficult.

I created this caricature to remind myself of who I am: a speech-language pathologist, patient advocate, blogger, author, and most importantly, a pet mom. Looking at it helps me remember that those parts of me still exist, even on the days when I don’t feel like myself.

At the moment, though, even the things shown in this photo are hard. Brain fog makes writing difficult. Physical pain makes household chores exhausting and dog walks challenging. And the emotional toll of all of it can feel overwhelming.

So for now, I’m focusing on healing — one day at a time — and reminding myself that the person in that picture is still here, even if she’s moving a little slower right now.

Today might not be the day that I feel better, but it is the day that I give myself grace to continue healing.